Together We Think

Going Back

My friend and mentor, John Woodall (www.jdubspubs.com) shared some really important advice with me a few years back: “Sometimes you have to go back, before you can go forward”. That is where I am right now. Some of you may be asking, how do I know if I need to go back? Here are some thoughts about when you might need to go back:

• If you sense an emotional disconnect with those you should be closest to.
• If you share your story as if it is someone else’s and not yours.
• If much of your past is blurry or distant to you.
• If you live with an unexplainable anxiety deep inside.

Now, I am not saying this list is exhaustive or that these guarantee you need to go back, but they should at least give you pause to think about what is going on deep inside. I guess the biggest indicator for me that I needed to go back, was sensing God’s Spirit moving and working inside of me to help me see that I have some work to do.

One of the great challenges of going back is that many times others will have to go back with us. The reason that is such a great challenge is that those others may not want to. When they don’t it puts us in a really hard and awkward place. The encouraging thing is that even if they don’t we can find healing, but man would it be easier to heal if they would!

There is not one person reading this post (Yes, that means you:-) that does not have brokenness in your life. The question for all of us is, do we want to be healed? I am always struck by that question when Jesus asks it in John 5:6 to an invalid. What do you mean, do I want to be healed? That seems like crazy talk! Of course he would want to be healed, right? Maybe, but when you think about what would have to change in his life, maybe not. Here’s a brief list of what would possibly have to change:

1. He would be responsible for himself now. No more handouts.
2. He would have to go to work.
3. He couldn’t blame anything or anyone else for his circumstances now.
4. He would no longer feel the attention and pity of others.
5. Everything he had lived for and built in 37 years would now change.

Wow, that’s a pretty big change of life! Maybe it would be better to just stay unhealed? It sure would be a lot easier to remain an invalid wouldn’t it? So, why change? Why go through all of that? Because God didn’t make us to be invalids. He made us to thrive, to live at peace, to love deeply, to experience the kingdom of heaven on earth as it is in heaven! A healed place is what we are made for! The problem is, it is really hard! It stinks going through it and it doesn’t happen overnight!

It also becomes even harder when some of those that need to heal with you, decide they don’t want to. They would rather remain an invalid than go through the difficult work of being healed. In this moment, I have to say that I am not sure I blame them. This journey of healing has been really hard and not one I can take on my own. If it were not for the move of God’s Spirit and the love and encouragement of my wife and a few close friends, I really believe I would not be doing this.

I guess if I could encourage you to take only one thing away from today’s post, it would be: Please go back! Please let your answer be, “I want to be healed!”. Not just for your own sake, but for the sake of those closest to you! For the sake of the ministry God wants to do through you! For the sake of living a life full of the peace and love of God!

You see, part of my journey toward healing is going to be that much harder because I am going to have to do some of it alone. Some of my story will be locked up right now and not be shared with you, because some really hard work and conversations have yet to happen. I am prayerful that they will happen one day, but honestly, I’m not sure they ever will. It’s in the Lords hands!

I believe that one of the greatest gifts you could ever give to those closest to you, is your own personal growth. What an amazing thing it would be if you were the first one to engage your wife or husband, your children and those closest with you to talk about where you are broken and what you are learning as you grow. Wow, would that be awesome or what?! We all have someone in our life that we desperately need to have a gift like this from and the reality for you today, is that someone in your life needs that gift from you!

So, if you have started to “Go Back” I want to encourage you to keep going! It is so hard, but so worth it!!! If you have not gone back, ask God for His strength, find someone to help you and get started! I am 8 months into going back and it has been really hard, but really meaningful and worth it!!!

As I close, remember this is not about someone, it is about everyone, including you;-) I hope you are reminded throughout the day and every day  that Jesus is still asking us that same question today, “Do you want to get well?” What will your answer be?

Thanks for reading and godspeed!

S.