Together We Think

So, one of the obvious questions you might have for me is, “Why Now?”. What good does it do to go back to something and dredge up old hurt and pain? Isn’t it better to just leave it in the past and move on with our lives?

Believe me, my mind has certainly drifted there over the past 8 months! It certainly would be a whole lot easier…or would it? I’m not so sure that life is made easier by stuffing the pain and brokenness of the past. I am sure that it is more comfortable to move on, but pretty sure that God’s primary desire is not for our comfort, but more for our growth. So that is why I am going back. Because I need to grow!

I am discovering how many of my current struggles are related to the brokenness that began so many years ago and has continued through the years. Struggles like: insecurity, lust, fear, pride, etc… You see, so many of these present struggles we deal with are tied to the past and what we tend to do is double the efforts to stop doing them, instead of start dealing with the root of these struggles which is the brokenness at the core of who we are.

Over this journey together, I am going to unpack many of the things that I am learning about my own brokenness and struggles. Here are a few of the things I will spend some more time on in detail as we move forward:

• How my mindset of having to figure things out alone throughout the years has kept me from relating to God as my Heavenly Father
• How in my brokenness I was introduced to pornography and lust caused me to struggle with a unhealthy view of women (That should be a light and fun subject!;-)
• How I have begun to discover that God never left my side during the years and protected me from so many things that could have really hurt me
• How my need and desire for the attention of those in authority creates a thirst for approval that could never be met by anyone
• How the broken part of my heart in many ways has driven me toward the feeling that I need positions of leadership and influence to affirm who I am

I guess that should be enough to get us  started…lol!!!

There is one other driving force in “Why Now?” for me. It’s the thought of how I want my children to grow up. Bottom line on that is, I will make mistakes too and one day my kids might be writing something about me. (which I am ok with, btw:-) But, what I want to provide for them is someone who is deeply connected to his Heavenly Father and has done the had work in his life and heart. I want them to always be able to come to me with hurts and pains and know that I can help.

It would break my heart if my pain caused unnecessary harm and pain to my children because I didn’t do the hard work of healing. They wouldn’t know what really happened and neither would I and we would all be stuck in our pain together. That is not the kind of togetherness that I want for my family.

So, for now, we do the hard work and trust God to make up the difference! Every year I adopt a passage of scripture for the year based on what I think God is calling me to do and be. Here is this years passage:

“…prepare your minds for action;be self controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.” 1 Peter 1:13

So, my motto for 2010 is: “A mind prepared for action.”

Seems appropriate, huh?! I hope you are ready or open to whatever action God’s Spirit calls you to this year and I will be praying that you find the self-control and grace of God on whatever journey you need to take!

Until tomorrow, godspeed…

S.