Together We Think

As I write this entry, I have just walked out of a wonderful time with a great group of men who are working together to help each other become more of who God made us to be. What did our time consist of? Looking at our wiring, talking some about our strengths and some about our weaknesses. We prayed together, talked about the ups and downs of our weeks, and left our 90 minutes with a sense of being encouraged and together with other men on a journey toward becoming all that God wants us to be. Sounds like a pretty good time right?! It was!

When I think about how men are wired, (women, you are wired differently, but also need accountability!) our first thought is that we can fix things on our own, right?! You know I am right, don’t you?:-) I would say this is especially true when we think about our struggles and sin. If I just try harder; if I just don’ watch tv; if I just won’t turn on my computer! The problem is, that it doesn’t last. At some point, we will fail again and until we invite some other men into our journey, most of us will stay in the vicious cycle.

Now, let’s say you are bought into accountability or are open to not going it alone. When I think about the subject and some of my past experience around it, I think that all too often, the concept is misunderstood. One one side there are those who think, man, I don’t want to get together with a bunch of broken and weepy guys to talk about my problems, but I guess I have to! On the other side are those who get together to compare sins and assuage the guilt of struggles that are out of control. To me, it is neither of these.

So, what is it? Here are some bulletted thoughts on what I believe it is:

1. Find a man or some men you respect and enjoy being around.
2. Set a consistent time to connect and talk about life.
3. Begin by being open about your strengths and weaknesses. All of us need someone in our life who knows our deepest struggles.
4. Be sure that your time together focuses on how daily life is going, how you are growing and where you are presently struggling in your life.
5. Make yourself available to each other so that when victories or defeats come, you have a place to reach out.
6. Be proactive in pursuing each other specifically in your areas of struggle. You never know how God might use a phone call, an email or a text to help each other make it through or avoid an area of weakness.

Those are my thoughts on what our accountability should look like. This is the definitive list, but it is mine, so that’s what I will go with:-)

When I look through this list, I believe that the one many men get sideways or lost on is not having another man in their life who knows their dark side. All to many of us are afraid or unwilling to share the area where we struggle and so we do out best to go it alone and continue to fail over and over.

Why is it that we fail when we try and work on our weaknesses alone? Here is some scripture that I believe will answer this question:

James 5:16 - Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

Ephesians 4:25- Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.

Hebrews 3:13 - But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.

All of these passages (and many more) speak to the need that we have to be connected to one another and to know the truth about each other, both good and bad, so that we can journey together to become all God wants us to be!

Here are my closing questions for you today:

1. Are you journeying with men you enjoy and respect who are intent on growing and becoming more of who God made them to be?
2. Is there another man in your life who knows your dark side and is willing to challenge you in that area and be there to encourage you?
3. Do you have a consistent time set up on your calendar to meet with them and grow together?

If the answer is yes, good for you! Keep it going! If the answer is no, I want to encourage you to make it yes as soon as possible, because when you are alone, you are in trouble!

Thanks for reading and godspeed!

S.

PS - Quick plug for an accountability tool you need to use: If you struggle in the area of lust or pornography, get the X3watch software today from xxxchurch!!!!! When I started using it a few years ago it completely eliminated the temptation on my computer, and now they have it available for iphones as well!!