Talk about a nail biter! The US soccer team pulled it off just in time this morning! I was watching with about 100 people and the room erupted with excitement at the score!

The “Just In Time” nature of the win got me to thinking about the “Just In Time” nature of our Heavenly Father. It has been my experience that when God wants something to happen, it happens “Just In Time”, but when he doesn’t, it is impossible to move regardless of our tension, frustration or desire to get things moving. I have seen this over and over in my life and the lives of countless others.

As I was watching the game this morning, I was getting so frustrated because of all the opportunities the US had to get it right…they kept missing shot after shot and the announcers starting talking about how they were pressing and taking chances until finally, they hit the one that mattered to win the game. What had to happen to make the shot? They had to relax and keep trying!

So, how does this relate to our lives and the decisions, goals and desires we all have?

First, I think we need to pay attention to the tension, frustration and desires. What do those things tell us? Where do we need to grow in those things? Could it be that God has yet to provide a “Just In Time” moment for us because he has something he wants us to learn or grow in before we can score the goal?

Second, I believe we get ourselves into trouble when we press too much. This doesn’t mean that we don’t work or search hard, but it does mean that we don’t try and do too much. Part of the process is to keep working hard but also do our best to stop pressing too hard and trust God with His “Just In Time” nature.

So, how does this hit you today? What do you see in your own life? For me, this morning was a reminder that I need to do my best to learn, not press too hard, keep growing and be faithful so that the “Just In Time” nature of my Heavenly Father can help me hit the goals I have in my own life!

1. Humility - It’s hard to be proud when you are leaning down to scrub a dirty toilet:-)
2. Servanthood - I am reminded that God has called me to “get my hands dirty” in serving my family in both small and large ways
3. Love - It’s only because I love my wife so much, that I am willing to take over 2 hours to scrub down a bathroom and then feel proud because she likes it!
4. Legacy - I am reminded that when I serve my family in little ways like this, I am setting an example for my kids that nothing should be below us when it comes to serving others.

So men, I say, lets start a toilet cleaning revolution! If we can learn the things above by doing a little cleaning around the house, I would say (And have no doubt our wives, fiance’s or girlfriends would say:-) it is definitely worth it!!!

I am so excited to be taking my son to Disney for the first time this week! I remember going when I was little and remembering that it is a magical place! Crazy how time flies by! Although my trips to Disney as a child in many ways feels so long ago, in some ways it feels just like yesterday.

This week is a time for making memories, a time to have fun and chance to have some good down time with my family! I hope that you have made it a regular habit to take the opportunity to enjoy fun times and down time. Whether it is a small moment at home, or a big moment like a vacation, God has wired us all to take those moments and enjoy and appreciate them!

So, here’s to the chance to take time for fun!

OK, my family is waking up now, so I am signing off:-)

Godspeed!

S.

Take a moment to think about just a few things in my/your day: We control what time we wake up by an alarm clock. We control what we want to wear by choosing from hundreds of options. We control what we want to eat from a stocked fridge and pantry. We control the temperature in our home by pushing a button. We get in the car and control where we want to go. We control who we want to talk to by calling or not. And the list goes on and on…

Never in human history have there been so many options for so many people and we get the privilege of having access to these options!

There is a wonderful side to this to be sure, but there is also a darker side when it comes to our spiritual development. This darker side is a lie we tell ourselves…that we are in control. The truth of the matter is that none of us is really in control. It only takes a doctors prognosis, a broken relationship, a car accident or anything else beyond our control to bring this myth tumbling down.

Over the past 3 months I have been working hard to lose some weight and get back into shape. I have been excited to drop 15 pounds by eating right and exercising and have felt very empowered and in control. However, over the past few weeks I have been experiencing some physical issues and am currently awaiting some tests back to tell me whether or not I have any problems to tackle physically. Although it is probably nothing it has become very evident to me, once again, that I am not in control. I have to trust my Heavenly Father for everything.

The funny thing about this reminder is that I am supposed to be living in light of this truth already! I am supposed to live every moment with the awareness that every perfect gift comes from above, (James 1:17) that man plans his ways,  but the Lord determines his steps,  (Prov. 16:9) that I must trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my understanding. (Prov. 3:5,6)

It’s crazy, I know, but even with all of these beautiful reminder’s in scripture, I still all too many times live life as if I am in control. Until something happens that reminds me once again that my hope, future and everything else depends on Him.

When it comes right down to it, deep inside none of us really want to be in control because we know we’re not that good. We know that if left to ourselves we will ultimately make a mess of things. We know that we need Him. So, what do you need to give back to Him? What or who are you trying to control? It’s time to give it back to Him today and trust that He is at work and has your best interest in mind!

I pray that this post will encourage and challenge you. Until next time, godspeed!

Scott

I have  been thinking a lot lately about the challenges of trying to grow, mature and heal. I have been struck once again, by how much of a struggle it can be to grow in areas of brokenness and pain.

As I move forward on this journey, I know I am on the right road toward the destination my Heavenly Father has for me, but all too many times I find myself stuck in the slow moving traffic of growth, and slow moving traffic is not something I like!!!

The reason “stuck in traffic” feels like such a great analogy for me in relation to my healing is :

1. There are very few things more frustrating to me than being on the way to an important destination or appointment and getting stuck in traffic.
2. At times I feel helpless in traffic because it is beyond my control. Sure, I can jump off at an exit and try and find a way around it, but many times that just leads to a longer trip.
3. Being stuck in traffic really tests my patience, and honestly, I am not a patient person.
4. When I am stuck in traffic I can become very irritable with those in the car and those driving around me.
5. Many times when I am stuck in traffic it is because some driver ahead of me did something stupid and caused an accident.

I don’t have to explain the analogy to you, do I?! These are all things I feel at times on this journey of healing. Sometimes, the journey is smooth sailing and we can get to our destination quickly. At other times, we get stuck in the right direction and have to trust that we will move at whatever pace God has for us as we continue forward.

The great news for all of us is that, when we are on a healing journey, we know that ultimately, the destination is a great one! A whole and healthy heart is what we all desire! But, it takes time, patience, a willingness to live with some frustration and a commitment to stay on the journey.

Here are a couple questions for you to think about today:

• Are you on the road to toward the destination of healing?
• If you get “Stuck in the right direction” what does God want to teach you through this?
• Are you willing to stay on the road through the slow moving and frustration or have you/will you try and take an exit or turn around and go home?

I hope that your answer will be to start or continue the journey! Although I have had many times of feeling a bit stuck over the past months, I know that what I want is to complete this journey to the destination of healing!

Healing and wholeness is the goal, not a quick, easy and painless journey. Since healing is not a simple trip down the street, but a long and arduous journey, we must prepare ourselves for the free and fast flow as well as the gridlock and slow go, knowing through it all that we are on the right road with our Heavenly Father!

Tomorrow, I want to share another great analogy on healing from the life of the biblical character, Nehemiah.

Until then, I hope today is a quick and easy commute for you:-) Godspeed!

S.

When I think about how men are wired, (women, you are wired differently, but also need accountability!) our first thought is that we can fix things on our own, right?! You know I am right, don’t you?:-) I would say this is especially true when we think about our struggles and sin. If I just try harder; if I just don’ watch tv; if I just won’t turn on my computer! The problem is, that it doesn’t last. At some point, we will fail again and until we invite some other men into our journey, most of us will stay in the vicious cycle.

Now, let’s say you are bought into accountability or are open to not going it alone. When I think about the subject and some of my past experience around it, I think that all too often, the concept is misunderstood. One one side there are those who think, man, I don’t want to get together with a bunch of broken and weepy guys to talk about my problems, but I guess I have to! On the other side are those who get together to compare sins and assuage the guilt of struggles that are out of control. To me, it is neither of these.

So, what is it? Here are some bulletted thoughts on what I believe it is:

1. Find a man or some men you respect and enjoy being around.
2. Set a consistent time to connect and talk about life.
3. Begin by being open about your strengths and weaknesses. All of us need someone in our life who knows our deepest struggles.
4. Be sure that your time together focuses on how daily life is going, how you are growing and where you are presently struggling in your life.
5. Make yourself available to each other so that when victories or defeats come, you have a place to reach out.
6. Be proactive in pursuing each other specifically in your areas of struggle. You never know how God might use a phone call, an email or a text to help each other make it through or avoid an area of weakness.

Those are my thoughts on what our accountability should look like. This is the definitive list, but it is mine, so that’s what I will go with:-)

When I look through this list, I believe that the one many men get sideways or lost on is not having another man in their life who knows their dark side. All to many of us are afraid or unwilling to share the area where we struggle and so we do out best to go it alone and continue to fail over and over.

Why is it that we fail when we try and work on our weaknesses alone? Here is some scripture that I believe will answer this question:

James 5:16 - Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

Ephesians 4:25- Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.

Hebrews 3:13 - But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.

All of these passages (and many more) speak to the need that we have to be connected to one another and to know the truth about each other, both good and bad, so that we can journey together to become all God wants us to be!

Here are my closing questions for you today:

1. Are you journeying with men you enjoy and respect who are intent on growing and becoming more of who God made them to be?
2. Is there another man in your life who knows your dark side and is willing to challenge you in that area and be there to encourage you?
3. Do you have a consistent time set up on your calendar to meet with them and grow together?

If the answer is yes, good for you! Keep it going! If the answer is no, I want to encourage you to make it yes as soon as possible, because when you are alone, you are in trouble!

Thanks for reading and godspeed!

S.

PS - Quick plug for an accountability tool you need to use: If you struggle in the area of lust or pornography, get the X3watch software today from xxxchurch!!!!! When I started using it a few years ago it completely eliminated the temptation on my computer, and now they have it available for iphones as well!!

Today I want to talk about a truth that has only recently begun to become apparent to me. Not that it has not been true the whole time, but I am living and healing into a greater awareness of the fact that my Heavenly Father has never left my side throughout life.

Now, that seems like a “hello captain obvious” statement and those of us who have grown up around the church have heard variances of this statement throughout our lives. But, how many of us live in the light of this reality every day? How many of us live deeply with the sense that God is with us in every moment and is guiding and wants to guide us into the path of goodness and peace? Unfortunately, my experience in growing up around the church and being in full time ministry now for over 15 years is that far too many don’t live in this reality.

So how have I missed it? Why have I not noticed His presence surrounding me? I believe it is because I have been in survival mode. Doing whatever I thought I needed to do to survive and get by. When you are scratching to get by emotionally, physically or in any other way, it is really hard to stop, take a look around and recognize that He is there.

However, as I take the time to reflect now, I see amazing evidence of His guiding hand at work in my life:

• A 13 year old boy with a difficult home life says no to sex with a pretty girl and makes up his mind to “be the one” who waits until marriage.
• A 14 year old boy is offered alcohol and drugs by his best friend turns it down because it’s not the right thing to do.
• A 19 year old college student gets put on academic probation and struggles through the rest of college academic life only to earn a degree on time.
• Doors are opened for ministry opportunities that I didn’t have much experience in and yet there I was, leading anyway.

I could go on and on about my Heavenly Fathers guiding hand as I look back. My only regret as I look back is that I wish I would have been more aware of Him being there. I wish I could have trusted Him more and found my hope, peace and life in Him through all of those years. It sure would have saved me a lot of stress, worry, concern and some poor decisions I did make to just get by.

There is so much more I could say, but I will reserve those thoughts for future posts. What I hope you leave our time together today with is the beautiful fact that our Heavenly Father is with you now and always has been. Guiding, protecting, challenging and most importantly loving you more than you could ever imagine.

I hope that you live and have lived with the awareness of this truth. If you have, I would love to hear about it from you! If you haven’t, take some time today to reflect on your life. As you do, I know that you will begin to have a new level of clarity that He has always been there with you!

Thanks for reading (and maybe sharing) and godspeed!

S.

Believe me, my mind has certainly drifted there over the past 8 months! It certainly would be a whole lot easier…or would it? I’m not so sure that life is made easier by stuffing the pain and brokenness of the past. I am sure that it is more comfortable to move on, but pretty sure that God’s primary desire is not for our comfort, but more for our growth. So that is why I am going back. Because I need to grow!

I am discovering how many of my current struggles are related to the brokenness that began so many years ago and has continued through the years. Struggles like: insecurity, lust, fear, pride, etc… You see, so many of these present struggles we deal with are tied to the past and what we tend to do is double the efforts to stop doing them, instead of start dealing with the root of these struggles which is the brokenness at the core of who we are.

Over this journey together, I am going to unpack many of the things that I am learning about my own brokenness and struggles. Here are a few of the things I will spend some more time on in detail as we move forward:

• How my mindset of having to figure things out alone throughout the years has kept me from relating to God as my Heavenly Father
• How in my brokenness I was introduced to pornography and lust caused me to struggle with a unhealthy view of women (That should be a light and fun subject!;-)
• How I have begun to discover that God never left my side during the years and protected me from so many things that could have really hurt me
• How my need and desire for the attention of those in authority creates a thirst for approval that could never be met by anyone
• How the broken part of my heart in many ways has driven me toward the feeling that I need positions of leadership and influence to affirm who I am

I guess that should be enough to get us  started…lol!!!

There is one other driving force in “Why Now?” for me. It’s the thought of how I want my children to grow up. Bottom line on that is, I will make mistakes too and one day my kids might be writing something about me. (which I am ok with, btw:-) But, what I want to provide for them is someone who is deeply connected to his Heavenly Father and has done the had work in his life and heart. I want them to always be able to come to me with hurts and pains and know that I can help.

It would break my heart if my pain caused unnecessary harm and pain to my children because I didn’t do the hard work of healing. They wouldn’t know what really happened and neither would I and we would all be stuck in our pain together. That is not the kind of togetherness that I want for my family.

So, for now, we do the hard work and trust God to make up the difference! Every year I adopt a passage of scripture for the year based on what I think God is calling me to do and be. Here is this years passage:

“…prepare your minds for action;be self controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.” 1 Peter 1:13

So, my motto for 2010 is: “A mind prepared for action.”

Seems appropriate, huh?! I hope you are ready or open to whatever action God’s Spirit calls you to this year and I will be praying that you find the self-control and grace of God on whatever journey you need to take!

Until tomorrow, godspeed…

S.

Going Back

My friend and mentor, John Woodall (www.jdubspubs.com) shared some really important advice with me a few years back: “Sometimes you have to go back, before you can go forward”. That is where I am right now. Some of you may be asking, how do I know if I need to go back? Here are some thoughts about when you might need to go back:

• If you sense an emotional disconnect with those you should be closest to.
• If you share your story as if it is someone else’s and not yours.
• If much of your past is blurry or distant to you.
• If you live with an unexplainable anxiety deep inside.

Now, I am not saying this list is exhaustive or that these guarantee you need to go back, but they should at least give you pause to think about what is going on deep inside. I guess the biggest indicator for me that I needed to go back, was sensing God’s Spirit moving and working inside of me to help me see that I have some work to do.

One of the great challenges of going back is that many times others will have to go back with us. The reason that is such a great challenge is that those others may not want to. When they don’t it puts us in a really hard and awkward place. The encouraging thing is that even if they don’t we can find healing, but man would it be easier to heal if they would!

There is not one person reading this post (Yes, that means you:-) that does not have brokenness in your life. The question for all of us is, do we want to be healed? I am always struck by that question when Jesus asks it in John 5:6 to an invalid. What do you mean, do I want to be healed? That seems like crazy talk! Of course he would want to be healed, right? Maybe, but when you think about what would have to change in his life, maybe not. Here’s a brief list of what would possibly have to change:

1. He would be responsible for himself now. No more handouts.
2. He would have to go to work.
3. He couldn’t blame anything or anyone else for his circumstances now.
4. He would no longer feel the attention and pity of others.
5. Everything he had lived for and built in 37 years would now change.

Wow, that’s a pretty big change of life! Maybe it would be better to just stay unhealed? It sure would be a lot easier to remain an invalid wouldn’t it? So, why change? Why go through all of that? Because God didn’t make us to be invalids. He made us to thrive, to live at peace, to love deeply, to experience the kingdom of heaven on earth as it is in heaven! A healed place is what we are made for! The problem is, it is really hard! It stinks going through it and it doesn’t happen overnight!

It also becomes even harder when some of those that need to heal with you, decide they don’t want to. They would rather remain an invalid than go through the difficult work of being healed. In this moment, I have to say that I am not sure I blame them. This journey of healing has been really hard and not one I can take on my own. If it were not for the move of God’s Spirit and the love and encouragement of my wife and a few close friends, I really believe I would not be doing this.

I guess if I could encourage you to take only one thing away from today’s post, it would be: Please go back! Please let your answer be, “I want to be healed!”. Not just for your own sake, but for the sake of those closest to you! For the sake of the ministry God wants to do through you! For the sake of living a life full of the peace and love of God!

You see, part of my journey toward healing is going to be that much harder because I am going to have to do some of it alone. Some of my story will be locked up right now and not be shared with you, because some really hard work and conversations have yet to happen. I am prayerful that they will happen one day, but honestly, I’m not sure they ever will. It’s in the Lords hands!

I believe that one of the greatest gifts you could ever give to those closest to you, is your own personal growth. What an amazing thing it would be if you were the first one to engage your wife or husband, your children and those closest with you to talk about where you are broken and what you are learning as you grow. Wow, would that be awesome or what?! We all have someone in our life that we desperately need to have a gift like this from and the reality for you today, is that someone in your life needs that gift from you!

So, if you have started to “Go Back” I want to encourage you to keep going! It is so hard, but so worth it!!! If you have not gone back, ask God for His strength, find someone to help you and get started! I am 8 months into going back and it has been really hard, but really meaningful and worth it!!!

As I close, remember this is not about someone, it is about everyone, including you;-) I hope you are reminded throughout the day and every day  that Jesus is still asking us that same question today, “Do you want to get well?” What will your answer be?

Thanks for reading and godspeed!

S.

But what if you’re scared? What if your relationships are all on the surface? What if you have a hard time grasping God as your heavenly Father? Well, I can honestly say, you are not alone. I have been scared for years to dig into the real hurt and pain in my life; I have struggled for years to relate to God as my heavenly Father due to a broken family system as a child; I have many good people around me who would love to support me, but I have all too often failed to just reach out.

If you have ever felt alone or maybe feel that way now, I would like to invite you on a journey. It is the journey of my life, not as it is now, but as it once was. You see, over the last 8 months I have been diving back into my past to discover my brokenness and find a way to heal a broken heart I have protected for 25+ years. It all begins with a wonderful early childhood and quickly heads downhill with the break-up of my family and a 9 year old boy who adopts the mindset that he has to make it on his own. But, I am getting ahead of myself….

Beginning tomorrow, I will begin sharing with you, my new friends, the journey that God has had me on over the past 8 months and more importantly, over the past 37 years. What are my hopes for doing this? I hope that maybe, just maybe, through my story, you will find that you are not alone; that there is someone you can share with; that God has never left your side and truly is your loving Heavenly Father.

I was having a conversation with a man last week who is a part of a self-discovery group I lead. As we were ending a 24 hour retreat together, this really great man shared something with me that he has never told another person (besides his wife) in his life. I was honored and heart broken for him, because this was a burden he should never have had to bear alone. As we ended our time together, he made a profound statement, he said, “It just feels so great to be able to share this with someone” and I couldn’t agree with him more.

So, thanks for letting me share my story with you! There might only be one person that reads this, but if only one is encouraged, I am ecstatic! I hope that through my story you might find some comfort, some laughs and hopefully a lot of encouragement!

In closing, I would love to invite you to reach out any time you would like through an email or a post or just by reading and telling others about the site if you believe they can find some encouragement here as well!

Blessings to you and godspeed!!

S.